Life Examined: ‘The Serviceberry’: Robin Wall Kimmerer’s guide to the gift economy

Potawatomi botanist Robin Wall Kimmerer discusses the philosophy of a “gift economy” in her latest book The Serviceberry,  expanding on the theme of reciprocity from her wonderful 2013 book Braiding Sweetgrass.  

“The goods and services that economics are meant to provide for us, they are material, they are the things that we need in order to live,” Kimmerer continues. “Those are often commodities, but the things that we hold most precious, like pure water, the taste of wild berries, and the regard of our neighbors — the trust of our neighbors — those can never be commodified. For those, we have a ‘gift economy.’” 

Drawing on native beliefs and traditions, Kimmerer explains that the abundant fruits of the humble serviceberry serve as a sweet reminder of our interdependence. It reminds us that all flourishing is mutual, “from bees, to birds, to microbes, to us.” 

The right mentor can change your career. Here's how to find one

How to find a mentor: 3 Steps
By Anjuli Sastry Krbechek and Andee Tagle for NPR
The right mentor can change your career. Here's how to find one

Imagine this: Someone you admire sets aside time to meet with you. They share how they accomplished their goals. And over time, they cheer you on and give you feedback and advice. Sounds pretty great, right? That is what we call a mentor.

The right mentoring relationship can be a powerful tool for professional growth — it can lead to new career opportunities, a promotion, even a better work-life balance.

One of the trickiest things about mentoring, though, is that it often happens informally. And that can make it difficult to find an entry point.

Here's how to find a good mentor, officially make the ask and make it work.

1. Finding the Right Mentor
Know your goals (both short and long-term).
Ask yourself who you look up to.
Do the research.
Be cognizant of your existing network.
Recognize the difference between a mentor and a sponsor.

2. Making the Ask to a potential mentor
Have an elevator pitch ready.
Make sure it's the right fit before asking.
Mention what you like about the person's work, especially if you've never met.
If it's a cold email, it's OK to start with the informational interview ask.

3. Tips on Being a Good Mentee
Remember your goals.
Meet consistently.
Set an agenda.
Be open to feedback: positive or constructive.
Take notes as you're meeting so that you can follow up via email.
Decide on an end date.
Remember that this relationship is not a therapy session.
Finally, consider establishing a board of mentors.



Read the full article here for details on each tip.

How to stand up for yourself when confronting loved ones

How to stand up for yourself when confronting loved ones
By ISABELLA CARRENO for The Daily Californian

For most of my life, I’ve been one of the loudest people in the room. Whether that be simply because I like to talk or because I inherited this trait from my parents, I’ve never been one to be silent — that is, until it comes to sticking up for myself in front of my loved ones. 

Although I have never had a problem with sticking up for myself in front of bullies or people I hardly know, doing it in front of people I love is a different story. There lies a delicate balance of respect and admiration between you and the people you love, and personally, I’ve always been afraid that sticking up for myself will tip the scales. I did not want to start a fight, nor did I want anyone to hate me. So, for most of my life, I chose the easiest and most amicable option: silence. 

However, as most of us know, silence in response to things that are bothersome is never a sustainable option, and eventually the truth comes out. In order to avoid the blow up or building resentment that comes with this “easier” response, I have a few tips on how to stick up for yourself to the people you love because, in truth, your needs ultimately matter just as much as those of the people you love. 

• If you feel too emotionally charged to start a productive conversation, make a note for later

• Consider the situation if the roles were reversed

• Be honest with yourself and view your needs with importance

Read the full article here for more information on each tip.

Excuse Me While I Do My Holiday Preset

Excuse Me While I Do My Holiday Preset
By Alyson Krueger for the New York Times

Right after Halloween, Ashley Guerra started being inundated with invitations — for Friendsgiving, for holiday parties and for New Year’s Eve.

“The holidays always feel a little chaotic,” said Ms. Guerra, 33, who lives in Dallas and works in product marketing for a tech company. “It’s more eating, more drinking, more late nights, more energy in showing up for other people.”

So this year she’s preparing by taking some time for herself ahead of Thanksgiving. “I’m filling up on my own cup,” she said.

In other words, Ms. Guerra is trying to give her body a break.

The holidays can be taxing, both mentally and physically. According to a poll from the American Psychiatric Association, 31 percent of Americans went into the 2022 holiday season expecting to feel more stressed than they did the previous year, up nine percentage points from 2021. The indulgent and constant eating and drinking, the financial strain of buying gifts and traveling, and the reunions with family members and old friends can all take a toll.

But some forward-thinking Americans are taking steps now to get their bodies and minds in fighting shape for what’s next —

Read the full article here to learn how some are minimizing holiday stress.