Setting good boundaries makes you a better friend.
By Adam Tschorn for the LA Times
As daunting as it can seem, learning how to successfully set clear boundaries with your friends is important for two big reasons. First — and this may seem counterintuitive — it makes you a better friend.
These 3 things will get you started.
1. Communicate (early): “There’s value in starting the conversation even if you don’t immediately have the right words at the tip of your tongue. “One of the most important things is the delivery and the way you speak to your friend..,”
2. Compromise (sometimes): “Sometimes we each have to give up exactly what we want in order to bridge the gap and come closer to the middle — if it’s at all possible,” he adds. “Sometimes it’s not. Compromise is a huge area of growth for people, where you don’t get all of our needs met all the time in order to give to the friendship.”
3. Reevaluate (always): during times of transition — one friend entering a long-term relationship, for example — that revisiting set boundaries and managing expectations is key. “We want to be consistent with our boundaries, but if you’ve grown out of that boundary or the reason you set it in the first place no longer exists, you can change the boundary,” she says. “You just have to let the people around you know.
Read the full article here.